But, Honestly - Foo Fighters

um. hi? been a while. i am now blaming the fact that i don't post much any more on the fact that we moved the computer to a totally inconvenient location. that, and i'm hugely irritable right now, and have nothing good to say. tomorrow is my due date, and i want this to be OVER now. i'm so freaking over being pregnant. i remembered an email i wrote to diana about four years ago, when we were both pregnant with our first kiddos, and i was over it then. here is what i said:

I miss my non-swollen ankles. I miss all the cute fall-weather clothing I'm not getting to wear right now. I miss my jeans that do not have ugly stretchy panel. I miss painting my toenails without doing contortionist moves. I miss being able to sleep on my stomach. I miss the way my shirts used to cover my tummy. I miss the fact that putting a napkin in my lap was an effective way for my clothing to not get stained. I could go on all day. And I know it will all happen soon, but I had really expected this to be over by now. I was hanging up some of my maternity clothes last night, and had to fight the urge to throw them on the floor and stomp on them.

everything i said is all true this time around, too. except that i did stomp on some maternity clothing this morning. i am tired of feeling like tweedledee, and tired of heartburn. tired of only wearing tevas. tired of it nearly taking a crane just to roll over in the bed. tired of a lot. but more than that, you guys, MORE THAN ALL THAT, i just want to meet this baby.

i want to see his face and touch his hair. i want to introduce him to his big brother. i want to read him stories and play music for him and count his fingers and toes. i know it'll happen soon, but after this long, i'm pretty much ready for this.

dave and emerson and i went to the park tonight, and i nearly cried as i watched the boys run ahead of me, hand in hand. i love our little family of three, but i can't wait to be a family of four.