i had a very interesting conversation with my boss recently. it all started over a discussion over whether or not to apply a policy in a specific situation. WAIT, WAIT! come back! i will not bore you with details. instead, i will tell you that he had a good reason to argue against application of said policy, but i stuck to my guns and said that the policy should be applied, no matter what. i mean, why do rules exist if you don't follow them?
and he and i embarked on a discussion about right and wrong and following rules versus bending them every now and then, and i started thinking. and talking. and realizing that, well, i'm a total rule follower. i mean, seriously. i don't break rules. and this not only includes laws and policies, but also unspoken, implied rules. rules of conduct and courtesy. i am a slave to the rules.
and i thought about it. i don't really speed; people accuse me of driving like a grandmother. i didn't drink until i was 21. i've never touched an illegal drug or, for that matter, someone else's prescription. i say please and thank you, i hold the doors for everyone, i let cars merge in traffic. i get nervous parking in tow-away zones, even if there's not a chance to actually be towed. my college scholarship said to finish in 4 years, no summer school. so i did. i always did my homework, and i always finish assignments on time. early, even. i hate to be late. i remember cutting class once or twice, and can still recall that feeling of exhilarating freedom and terror about breaking rules.
i wish i were more able to cut loose and not worry about the repercussions of breaking rules. i mean, ok, real, actual rules? consequences aren't super. but the social mores? dude, the nervousness about keeping my elbows off the table or whatever courtesy should be given in a certain situation? i should probably learn to calm it down a bit. but after thirty-mumble years, i just don't know if i can. perhaps that's just me.
i wonder if i'll pass this behavior on to my son. i mean, i TOTALLY want him to follow the rules, but i want him to not be so nervous and weird about it. gawd forbid he end up like me.
breaking the rules sounds fun, though. are you rule-breakers? tell me all about it. i must live vicariously.
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2 comments:
Not a risk-taker... Not a rule-breaker... pretty much just like you!! :) (And I'm a policy - writer... which means that I try and make more people like me, at least at an institutional level!)
you know I have never thought about this specifically before ... but yes, I am rule BENDER at the very least ... although etiquette type stuff I try sooo hard to do right ... like right now, we got some really late gifts for collins b-day and I need to write thank you notes and the guilt is KILLING me even though its been like 5 days since we got them ... in any case, I guess I am the opposite with this issue ... does that bother you?!?!?!? I always ask the "why" and want to color outside the lines ... I think its my stubborn side being tooo stubborn to do what I am told?
I think there needs to be a happy medium ... but then again, we need people to be different from each other!!
I think I have lost track of what I was suppose to be writing about!
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